Shop my style!

As you have seen everywhere I have started a shop through Depop! I love this app because it does everything for me, I just have to post and wait. I hand pick every item and look for some of the best pieces! My style is usually something comfortable that still makes a statement. I love something that is going to make people say “Wow I love your top/dress/pants/whatever”. I’m not a shoe girl, I’m not a purse girl, and I’m not a jewelry girl so you won’t be seeing much of those items there. All my items are $10 and come with a $5 shipping fee. When I am searching for items I am looking for vintage and really good name brands. So no worries you won’t be seeing any c list name brands. I look for quality first, style second, and comfort 3rd. Everyone wants to be happy with their outfit and usually you have to sacrifice one of the three from above. I refuse! If I can’t sit, eat, or stroll around in my clothes, count me out! Take a look at my shop and I hope you can see all the love, time, and effort I have put in to making a great experience for you!

Girl, you are 100% that _________

I posted something on my Instagram today because I am having a #bossbabe kind of day where I am feeling the productivity and motivation. In fact, before 10am I had cleaned my home, vacuumed, let the dogs out, showered, eaten, and laid down for a 45min snoozer. I was feeling goooooood!

I was headed off to get my nails done and thinking about how my life has gone from daily anxiety attacks and depression suffocating me to now living in the positivity of the day. Sure I still have my moments but I really have seen a huge improvement in my quality of life. This is what I posted.

I could sit here and say my life is happy just because those are the cards that have been dealt to me but I would be lying. The past 8 months have actually been some of the hardest times I have faced. And if we were being honest I didn’t say those things to myself. Actually, my husband was the one saying it to me since the day we got married but these past 8 months I decided to believe him. I started speaking them over myself and laying down my insecurity, fear, and even pride in the mornings.

I have learned to declutter my life, holding onto the long lasting friendships and giving up the ones where it is clearly a one way. Getting rid of things in our house that we don’t need, cleaning out my closet, spending my money on things that will make memories and not just stuff, finding joy in the struggle, and reminding myself that I have no need.

I feel like a hippie if we are being honest. “Live in the moment, don’t worry about tomorrow, stop trying so hard, and what is meant to be will be” are phrases I find myself saying in stressful situations. If you met me you probably wouldn’t compare me to a hippie because I’m still pretty driven and not totally laid back but from where I was to now, I have felt a huge change.

It all started with how I spoke to myself. Positivity is a continual journey. It doesn’t just happen. The start is actually the hardest because you realize just how negative you can be and then you beat yourself down. Give yourself some grace. Allow yourself to make mistakes but then get back up and move forward.

Even now I catch myself saying “I used to be so fun and people wanted to hang out with me” but I combat that with “I am fun, people do want to hang out with me, I am outgoing, I am funny, and I am a source of joy”.

Growing up, my mom always taught us to be confident and because of that I have never really felt jealousy or deep insecurity about my appearance or who I am. Sure, every girl struggles a little but I wouldn’t say that it is something that holds me back. What I didn’t realize was the way I was talking to myself about my life was not positive which lead me to constantly being upset with every season I was in, even a winning season.

It took me a while to figure out why I was so unhappy. No amount of change was going to bring me joy. I was going to have to find joy in the present not in the what-if.

8 months later here I am, actually happy with less than I have ever had. I had heard it all the time, “love is a choice, joy is a choice” but I would get so frustrated because I didn’t know how to just choose it. It starts with the way to talk to yourself. Start there and see the other things in life fall into place.

Things I learned at 23

23 was such a fun year! I started year 23 with a promise from God about my husband and I making a move to Graham after we quite literally had the life I dreamed of my whole life. It’s a good thing God knows better than us because although I had the exact image of what I wanted I had no idea what I was about to experience! Love, freedom, friendships, and an appreciation for life itself. I am fully convinced that the hardest part about life is enjoying it. There is so much to get you down but this year I wanted to high light some awesome things that truly changed me.

1. I started to figure out what it means to be a wife. A lot of people say your first year of marriage is the best but it wasn’t until the start of our second year that I felt like I actually understood what it meant to be a wife and a companion because I was able to work through the things about living with a boy that make absolutely no sense and sometimes you just have to just laugh. My husband is my best friend of all time and there is nothing better than when you come home and your man has done the dishes, taken the dogs out, and greeted you with “don’t worry about cooking, let’s go grab something to eat”. SEXY! As my parents say, “coins in the love bank”. Haha but truly I think we have found our rhythm and what works for us and it’s awesome!

2. I have learned a lot about patience and waiting. It took Buddy and I 6 months to be able to move to Graham and I would be lying if I said there weren’t times when I doubted. I figured out that there is a lot of growth in the waiting season of life so that when you are able to step into the promise you are ready for it. Just because we followed God’s will and we moved doesn’t mean we got here and everything was easy. Actually it was really really hard and I doubted. We thought our waiting season would end when we moved to Graham but to be honest we are still waiting on a lot of things. And that’s okay! We are enjoying it.

3. I have learned how to better identify my feelings. If you follow me on Instagram then you probably know I am am pretty open about struggling with anxiety and depression. Mental health for me is a real struggle but this year I have learned how to identify my feelings, the root of the cause, and talk to my awesome husband about it so that I am not processing it alone. I am not perfect but I am proud of myself and the growth that I have been through.

4. I learned that it’s not all about me. I will say it. I can be self centered. Somewhere in 23 (I can’t remember when exactly) I realized I can dominate conversations and I found myself turning everything someone else said to relate to me and my life. When I realized this, I caught myself many times mid self-boast, I fell short often, but it really wasn’t a painful thing at all, it actually made me happier to talk to someone about them and not have to talk about me unless asked. It’s nice to get to know people and hear their stories. Genuinely ask more questions and listen intently to others. It will change you.

5. I learned to enjoy life. Like I said earlier, I am convinced that the hardest part about life is enjoying it but throughout year 23 I learned to take in every season. Enjoy the rainy days in and the sunny days out. Enjoy the times when dinner consists of whatever is left in the fridge cooked up and dunked in cheese because pay day is tomorrow. Enjoy the highs of surprising your husband with a birthday trip to Vegas. Enjoy the date nights consisting of an indoor picnic with all your favorite fast food. Enjoy the friendships in front of you. Laugh at things you can’t change that could make you mad but all you can do is pay the fine (literally happened to us too many times 🤦🏼‍♀️). Enjoy being able to nurture a mom dog that surprised you with 5 puppies and raise them until they were able to find loving homes. Shout when you’re happy. Dance in your living room to Taylor Swift. Get a tattoo. Try that Pinterest project. Get that funky outfit. Put yourself out there. And kiss the one you love a lot.

23 was an amazing year. 24 has a lot to live up to, but I am looking forward to growing and changing. Learning and loving. Laughing and crying. But most of all, I am looking forward to life.