This past year was one of the best years EVER! I got engaged, married, landed an incredible job, moved to my dream apartment in the city, got the cutest puppy, and grew more than I could have ever imagined. Life has been good to me to say the least. BUT, even after all my blessings I was feeling incredibly burned out and I’m not going to lie, Booking a one way flight to Fiji for my husband and I never looked more appealing.
There has been this huge movement lately with the phrase “Self Care” and for me, it could not have come at a more perfect time. It is a stance on doing things for yourself because your mental, physical, and emotional health is more important than any event, hang out, work overtime opportunity, obligation, or even something fun.
How Do you know when you are Burned out?
I think the best way to notice you are getting burned out is when all of your blessings start to seam like curses.
Burn out is defined by Dictionary.com as “To be completely consumed and thus no longer aflame.” Ex: “the candle in the saucer had burned out”
Much like that candle we can feel like we are consumed with life and we are drowning in it to the point where life extinguishes our candle. Suddenly you don’t feel like you are yourself any more, like you are at the mercy of everybody else’s schedule, and if it weren’t for the morning coffee, mid afternoon energy shots, and the night caps, you don’t know how you would stay sane.
It honestly took me a long time to realize I was at this point. I just thought I needed to completely give something up in my life or change directions. I found myself saying things like “I wish I never got this dog”, “I want to move back to California”, and “I need a month vacation”. (I’m not going to lie, a month vacation still sounds pretty nice).
Okay, So your flame has officially been extinguished. What do you do?
I remember thinking. “Wow, I’m exhausted and worn out, but life is not going to slow down, so what do I do?”
The trick is not to do less, the trick is to do more things for YOU. I am busier now than I ever have been but I’m also happier. I decided to A. Complain less and B. start saying no to people if within that week I have not done at least one thing for myself.
I started planning out one event a week that was a complete selfish, recharging activity. Some nights that meant a bubble bath and other nights that meant working out (I’m more likely to choose the previous). Some times it was going to the thrift store to find a totally rad outfit (one of my hobbies) and other times it meant binge watching a random Netflix show. Whatever it was, it was for ME and ME alone.
When I started giving myself more time, I was able to give others more of my time as well. It’s kind of like that saying that moms say about their babies, “If they have a good nap, they will have a good nights rest.” It seams counter intuitive but it’s true! When you take time to do something for yourself you are more likely to say yes to others because you are working on a full battery, not hanging on to that 1% for dear life.
What does it look like on the other side?
The other side looks busy, but rewarding. there was a quote that my friend sent me that said, “every successful woman has as many hours a day as you” -WomenOnTopp. This quote really put it in perspective for me. Here I am whining about my day and how I don’t have enough energy to get things done and then BAM reality check. I look up to powerful women like they have some special power to make time stop, but 24 hours is 24 hours. So what will you make of it?
Photography by Naomi Ledford: